Breaking up isn’t the same as it when 18. At 30, a breakup doesn’t just end a bond. It shakes a story, plans and the future i thought was meants to be. 

It’s doesnt hurt like before. It hurts differently. 

Because now i know what’s at stake. Im no longer 22 with all the time in the world. The clock feels lounder now. Whispering that im late, that i should have already found the love, the security, the family i once dreamed of. 

And suddenly, i have to starting over. Wiser, but with fewer answers.

Im cry quietly, wondering if i’ll ever meet someone again? But even in the emptiness, i keep going, breathing, healing and beginning again. And deep down, i know… that love begins with me.